Holding on

Last night sucked. You know when you shouldn’t do something, but you want to, but you also don’t? That’s where I’m at. i know I shouldn’t do it. It isn’t healthy for me. Like at all. It honestly makes me feel worse than not doing it, but it’s my only way to hold onto you. … Continue reading Holding on

Missing

I miss him. And him. I miss them both. I shouldn’t. I should only miss one, but I feel bad about the other. He only tried to love me. He loved me too much. It destroyed us. He got crazy. He hurt me. I hurt him. I want to regress. I want to go back … Continue reading Missing

Not okay

Today was hard. It’s the first day I’ve left bed without crying, but I’m still not okay. I felt like an elephant has been sitting on my chest and like I might start crying at any minute. Everything reminds me of him, and I miss him so much. Of course I have feelings for him … Continue reading Not okay